Verbal abuse là gì

Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, the author of the bestselling book "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," and the host of The Verywell Mind Podcast.

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What Is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse is a way lớn control another person by using emotions lớn criticize, embarrass, shame, blame, or otherwise manipulate another person. In general, a relationship is emotionally abusive when there is a consistent pattern of abusive sầu words & bullying behaviors that wear down a person"s self-esteem và undermine theirmental health.

What"s more, mental or emotional abuse, while most common in dating & married relationships, can occur in any relationship including aao ước friends, family members, and co-workers.

Emotional abuse is one of the hardest forms of abuse khổng lồ recognize. It can be subtle và insidious or overt và manipulative. Either way, it chips away at the victim"s self-esteem & they begin to doubt their perceptions & reality.

The underlying goal of emotional abuse is to control the victyên ổn by discrediting, isolating, and silencing.

In the kết thúc, the victim feels trapped. They are often too wounded khổng lồ endure the relationship any longer, but also too afraid khổng lồ leave sầu. So the cycle just repeats itself until something is done.

How Do You Know?

When examining your own relationship, rethành viên that emotional abuse is often subtle. As a result, it can be veryhard lớn detect. If you are having trouble discerning whether or not your relationship is abusive sầu, stop và think about howthe interactions with your partner, friover, or family thành viên make you feel.

Here aresigns that you may be in an emotionally abusive sầu relationship. Keep in mind that even if your partner only does a handful of these things, you are still in an emotionally abusive sầu relationship.

Do not fall into lớn the trap of telling yourself "it"s not that bad" & minimizing theirbehavior. Remember: Everyone deserves to lớn be treated with kindness và respect.

If you feel wounded, frustrated, confused, misunderstood, depressed, anxious, or worthless any time you interact, chances are high that your relationship is emotionally abusive sầu.

Have sầu Unrealistic Expectations

Emotionally abusive people display unrealistic expectations. Some examples include:

Making unreasonable demands of youExpecting you to lớn put everything aside & meet their needsDemanding you spend all of your time togetherBeing dissatisfied no matter how hard you try or how much you giveCriticizing you for not completing tasks according lớn their standardsExpecting you to chia sẻ their opinions (i.e., you are not permitted khổng lồ have sầu a different opinion)Demanding that you name exact dates và times when discussingthings that upmix you (và when you cannot vày this,they may dismiss the event as if it never happened)
Undermining, dismissing, or distorting your perceptions or your realityRefusing lớn accept your feelings by trying khổng lồ define how you should feelRequiring you lớn explain how you feel over và overAccusing you of being "too sensitive," "too emotional," or "crazy"Refusing to acknowledge or accept your opinions or ideas as validDismissing your requests, wants, và needs as ridiculous or unmeritedSuggestingthat your perceptions are wrong or that you cannot be trusted by saying things like "you"re blowing this out of proportion" or "you exaggerate"Accusing you of being selfish, needy, or materialistic if you express your wants or needs (the expectation is that you should not have any wants orneeds)
Starting arguments for the sake of arguingMaking confusing & contradictory statements (sometimes called "crazy-making")Having drastic mood changes or sudden emotional outburstsNitpicking at your clothes, your hair, your work, and moreBehaving so erratically và unpredictably that you feel lượt thích you are "walking on eggshells"

​Use Emotional Blackmail

Emotionally abusive people use emotional blackmail. Some examples include:

Manipulating and controlling you by making you feel guiltyHumiliating you in public or in privateUsing your fears, values, compassion, or other hot buttons to lớn control you or the situationExaggerating your flaws or pointing them out in order to deflect attention or lớn avoid taking responsibility for theirpoor choices or mistakesDenying that an event took place or lying about it
Treating you lượt thích you are inferiorDoubting everything you say và attempting to prove you wrongMaking jokes at your expenseTelling you that your opinions, ideas, values, and thoughts are stupid, illogical, or "do not make sense"Talking down to lớn you or being condescendingUsing sarcasm when interacting with youActing lượt thích they arealways right, know what is best, and are smarter

Control & Isolate You

​Emotionally abusive people attempt to isolate and control you. Some examples include:

Controlling who you see or spend time with including friends and familyAccusing you of cheatingvà being jealous of outside relationshipsTaking or hiding your oto keysDemanding khổng lồ know where you are at all times or using GPS lớn track your every moveTreating you lượt thích a possession or propertyCriticizing or making fun ofyour friends, family, và co-workersCoercing you inkhổng lồ spending all of your time together
Accusations of cheating or other signs of jealousy and possessivenessConstant checking or other attempts to control the other person"s behaviorConstantly arguing or opposingCriticismGaslightingIsolating the individual from their family & friendsName-calling & verbal abuseRefusing khổng lồ participate in the relationshipShaming or blamingSilent treatmentTrivializing the other person"s concernsWithholding affection và attention

It is important to lớn rethành viên that these types of abuse may not be apparent at the outmix of a relationship. A relationship may begin with the appearance of being normal & loving, but abusers may start using tactics as the relationship progresses khổng lồ control & manipulate their partner. These behaviors may begin so slowly that you may not notice them at first.

Impact of Emotional Abuse

When emotional abuse is severe và ongoing, a victlặng may thảm bại their entire sense of self, sometimes without a single mark or bruise. Instead, the wounds are invisible to lớn others, hidden in the self-doubt, worthlessness, and self-loathing the victlặng feels. In fact, research indicates that the consequences of emotional abuse are just as severe as those from physical abuse.

Over time, the accusations, verbal abuse, name-calling,criticisms, và gaslighting erode a victim"s sense of self so much that they can no longer see themselves realistically. Consequently, the victyên ổn may begin to lớn agree with the abuser & become internally critical.Once this happens, most victims become trapped in the abusive relationship believing that they will never be good enough for anyone else.

Emotional abuse can even impact friendships because emotionally abused people often worry about how people truly see them và if they truly lượt thích them.

Eventually, victimswill pull baông chồng from friendships và isolate themselves, convinced that no one likes them. What"s more, emotional abuse can cause a number of health problems including everything from depression & anxiety to stomach ulcers, heart palpitations, eating disorders, and insomnia.

Tips for Dealing With Emotional Abuse

The first step in dealing with an emotionally abusive relationship is lớn recognize the abuse. If you were able to identify any aspect of emotional abuse in your relationship, it is important to acknowledge that first và foremost.

By being honest about what you are experiencing, you can begin to take control of your life again. Here are seven more strategies for reclaiming your life that you can put inkhổng lồ practice today.

Make Yourself a Priority

When it comes to lớn your mental and physical health, you need lớn make yourself a priority. Stop worrying about pleasing the person abusing you. Take care of your needs. Do something that will help you think positively and affirm who you are.

Also, be sure to get an appropriate amount of rest and eat healthy meals. These simple self-care steps can go a long way in helping you khuyễn mãi giảm giá with the day-to-day stresses of emotional abuse.

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Establish Boundaries

Firmly tell the abusive sầu person that they may no longer yell at you, Điện thoại tư vấn you names, insult you, be rude khổng lồ you, và so on. Then, tell themwhat will happen if they choose khổng lồ engage in this behavior.

For instance, tell themthat if they điện thoại tư vấn you names or insult you, the conversation will be over and you will leave sầu the room. The key is khổng lồ follow through on your boundaries.

Stop Blaming Yourself

If you have been in an emotionally abusive relationship for any amount of time, you may believe sầu that there is something severely wrong with you. But you are not the problem. To abuse is lớn make a choice. So stop blaming yourself for something you have sầu no control over.

Realize You Can't Fix Them

Despite your best efforts, you will never be able khổng lồ change an emotionally abusive person by doing something different or by being different. An abusive sầu person makes a choice to behave abusively.

Remind yourself that you cannot control theiractions & that you are not lớn blame for their choices. The only thing you can fix or control is your response.

Avoid Engaging

Do not engage with an abusive person. In other words, if an abuser tries to start an argument with you, begins insulting you, demands things from you or rages with jealousy, do not try to lớn make explanations, soothe theirfeelings, or make apologies for things you did not bởi.

Simply walk away from the situation if you can. Engaging with an abuser only sets you up for more abuse and heartabịt. No matter how hard you try, you will not be able khổng lồ make things right in their eyes.

Build a Support Network

Although it can be tough to lớn tell someone what you are going through, speaking up can help. Talk khổng lồ a trusted friend, family member, or even a counselor about what you are experiencing. Take time away from the abusive person as much as possible & spkết thúc time with people who love & tư vấn you.

This network ofhealthy friends và confidantes will help you feel less lonely and isolated. They also can speak truth inkhổng lồ your life & help you put things into lớn perspective sầu.

Work on an Exit Plan

If your partner, friend, or family member has no intention of changing or working on their poor choices, you will not be able khổng lồ remain in the abusive sầu relationship forever. It will eventually take a toll on you both mentally và physically.

Depending on your situation, you may need to take steps to lớn over the relationship. Each situation is different. So, discuss your thoughts and ideas with a trusted frikết thúc, family thành viên, or counselor. Emotional abuse can have sầu serious long-term effects, but it can also be a precursor to physical abuse và violence.

Remember too, that abuse often escalates when the person being abused makes a decision lớn leave sầu. So, be sure you have a safety plan in place should the abuse get worse. Healing from emotional abuse takes time. Taking care of yourself, reaching out to lớn your supportive loved ones, và talking to a therapist can help.

Potential Complications

Sometimes attempts lớn giảm giá with or reduce emotional abuse can backfire & actually make the abuse worse. Some tactics that are not effective sầu ways of dealing with abuse include:

Arguing with the abuser. Trying lớn argue with an abuser can escalate the problem and may result in violence. There is no way to lớn argue with an abuser because they will always find more ways khổng lồ blame, shame, or criticize. They may also try to lớn turn the tables and play the victyên ổn.Trying khổng lồ understvà or make excuses for the abuser. It might be tempting to try lớn make sense of the other person"s behavior or khổng lồ come up with excuses khổng lồ justify their actions.Finding ways to sympathize with or minimize an abuser"s actions can make leaving the situation that much more difficult.Attempting to lớn appease the abuser. Appeasing the other person might seem like a size of de-escalation, but it tends khổng lồ backfire in the long-run và may serve sầu khổng lồ enable further abuse. Instead of trying lớn change yourself or your behaviors to lớn suit the abuser"s whims, focus on establishing clear boundaries và avoid engaging with them if possible.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, liên hệ the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.